Sick, Sad, Loser.

Oh mighty Casanova, with the deep voice
and soon to be fast car- Alex


Pretty much sums up how fallacious impressions over
internet can be. For example, how many times have you
chatted up this totally, 'hot' girl and wanted to meet up
and possibly hook up with her to realise that she's a bloody
60 year old man, who can't sustain a boner long enough
to jack off?

Erm... Yea.
You get the idea, people who may seem awesomely cool
on the net, chances are most of them are losers who've
mastered the art of typing with one hand and are really
quite sad actually.


You know, what's especially worse?
Getting stood up for a date.
Well, not a date with a chick, mind. If a chick stood
me up for a date, I wouldn't really mind because I'd
simply think she's shallow and has no class, and curse
her and her entire family for the next 20 generations
and simply look for other female specimens to leer at to
make up for the lack thereof.

Nope, getting stood up by a guy friend/pal. That's what
really bites, simply because you can't replace a guy pal.
Not the blatant idiocy, not the lack of hypocrisy, not the
no-holds-barred tendency to be retarded and dumb, and
especially not the dude who's loaned me over $16 which I
refuse to return (don't worry, one day I'll pay you back, I promise).

You know, it's not everyday that I have more than $50 to
burn, and I had planned a totally awesome day, with me
running wildly along down town, burning small bills and
screaming maniacally
"Money! Money! *Insane cackle* Muahahaha! MONEY!"
and throwing the embers of notes at people I don't like.
All the while screaming like an I have the fury of cain right on
my tail.

But no, I was left with a bad taste in my mouth after an awful
paper, the most poignant of the which included an essay question

"Describe and explain the importance of water in animals and plants"
10 marks.

I was so looking forward to a totally awesome day.

Instead, I was left at home hungry and tired,
subsisting on get this 3 samosas, 3 boxes of raisins
and 3 eggs. The holy trinity of unsatisfying junk food.

Which proved to be so unsatisfying that I finally
forced myself to put on some pants, leave the house,
(in full school uniform, no less) in slippers, looking like
a right devil.

Quick tip:
It's never a good idea to try and match wits with a chirpy
lass, working the counter at McDonalds, not especially
if she's trying to push the latest money sucking capitalist
'deal' to you. You'll end up parting with $7 for a diluted cup
of green tea, tasting like sugar, soggy fries in a paper bag
(with seaweed!) and a burger with perfect texture, yet without
any discernible taste at all.

Yep, I'm talking about the new Teriyaki-I'm truly yucky-
burger.

The buns, cushioning the soft tender flesh between, with
creamy sauce and fresh, firm and crisp.. Lettuce.
The smooth 'whole' chicken thigh grilled in 'teriyaki'
sauce, tastes, of nothing.

Go try the burger only if you haven't made out/
want to experience making out without the burden of
emotional attachment, the texture of the burger, sinful.
But the taste? Absent.

At $7 dollars I expected much more.
Then overly salty fries, sucrose solution, although
the burger was reminisce of a fantastic make out session;
I can always make out for less than $7.

The only thing that was of any value from my trip to
McDonald's? I realised that I attract attention from Malay
girl's much easier than from Chinese girls. Just as I left
McDonald's there was this Malay chick that kinda caught my
eye. That is to say, she looked over and caught my eye, not
the other way round.

And none of the Chinese girls even looked in my direction.



On second thought, I should've went over to ask for her
number. But, naaa. Heheh. The whole Casanova thang,
mustn't be put into overdrive. I have to be a good boy.
Besides, not that I'm racist or anything, Malay chick?
I just don't see it happening. I


You know, getting excited over making eye contact, wasting
good time blogging about 5 miserable hours of my life, plain
bitching about my day. Sounds awfully loser-ish eh?

But that's not to say that I'm a loser.
Far from it. I'm as awesome as I can be.
I'm just having an off-day, as awesome as I
am I'm bound to have my lapses, eh? I'm awesome, really.
Don't believe me? Ask my legion of faithful readers,
they'll tell you. Heheh. Geddit?





And just so to round things off nicely, I encountered a group
of birds engaging in one of their S&M rape mating
rituals, namely two groups of birds, a pair in each, going at each
other's throats, jumping around chirping excitedly, at first I
thought they were fighting, but upon closer inspection, it just
seemed like a case of violent necking. Beak over each other's
nap, half flying/hopping. Heheh. Reminds me of how humans do
it. If that wasn't enough, I got 3 packets of 'Fancy Ketchup'
adding nicely to my holy trinity of totally useless junk food that I've
had today.

Somebody must be giving me a sign, but, for what?
-------------------------------------------------------------------


PS: Reaction from the previous post was unexpected lah,
I don't really expect a birthday present from you guys.
Just plain old whoring, for those who might feel obliged to.

But if you're going to get me a birthday present, and want
to deliver it to me, you can either

1. Add me to MSN and I'll tell you my address
2. Add me to MSN and we'll arrange to meet up while I profess my undying admiration for you who have deemed to spend money on little old me.
3. E-mail me we'll work something out.

MSN's: iamahuman@hotmail.com
E-mail: iamahuman@gmail.com

Cheers.

P.P.S.:
Does anyone know of any good mid-priced eatery?
It'd be cool if you left a note, if you did know. Because
when your Aunty's buying and she doesn't mind paying...