He's really quite Sick,
He strips innocent girls
of their knickers very quick,
his smile is subtle yet predatory,
his life is a perpetual kinky story.
Okay, so that seems to be the impression that
this blog gives of me. Damn, if I ever. Well, if I
was anything as described by that poem, I'd be
out fooling 16 year old girls, instead of being stuck
at home updating this blog.
Completely fallacious, I tell ya.
And you know what, Eleanor?
You haven't even met me yet. Who knows
what'll happen when and if, we do meet eh?
Perhaps then, you'll come up with a proper
sonnet, eh?
Man, I'll welcome poetry in the middle of the night,
anytime.
------------------------------------------------------------
And as for the impending D-Day on the 23rd.
I'm pleased to announce that 5 delightful individuals
have decided to part with their money, for the personal
indulgence and gratification of little old' me.
God, I sound like such a pimp.
Well, simply because I am,
and to prove that fact, I'm going to bloody
whore for gifts on this blog, just as well.
Food. (Esp candy):
Nothing can be more practical and cheap as going
to Candy Empire to get candy. Not the typical
Snickers/Mars bar generic gifts will be a waste of money,
simply because it won't leave an impression.
Think Candy like, Turkish Delight, Licorice Allsorts,
Jellybeans. Or two pints of Ben & Jerry's, namely
Cherry Garcia and Cookie Dough.
Clothing:
Most practical gift. Ever. As long as it isn't anything
horribly garish. Do I need to elaborate further? Oh,
I'm a Size M (S if you want me to look gay)
for T-shirts and have 30 for pants.
Preferably something smart/formal (IE polo shirts)
if I'm going to be meeting up with people and doing the
whole socialising thang, I'd better be presentable, eh?
Music CDs:
Franz Ferdinand, Jamiroquai, Death Cab For Cutie,
Rapture House, Modest Mouse, Ambulance LTD,
Babyshambles, Graham Coxon and The Kaiser Chiefs.
You get the gist.
And, that's about it for the inexpensive gifts.
You know, if you really want to get me kissing your
feet and such you've got too much money to spare,
I suggest that you look no further than the
Panasonic Lumix FX series. I'll kiss your feet (and more!)
if you get me one.
And, anything from http://thinkgeek.com/
would be mucho appreciated.
There you have it. For people still fretting about what to get
me, I've so nicely compiled a list for you people. Isn't this
much better and so much more easier than fretting over
what gift to get, before finally splurging on something
expensive that would be underutilized?
Okay, I'm just being a bloody whore.*shrugs*
Well, you'll never know if you never try, eh?
What's with the picture, you ask? Heheh. Soon, you'll see.
Oh yea, who could forget?
Most importantly for my birthday,
Yep, and I'm on the lookout for a pair of Nubile Nymphs too,
which I'll use to bribe Daniel back into blogging.
Cheers.
12 comments:
How about i buy for u my own stuff?
My present would be the best of them all...
How mortifying. That was an impromptu attempt at a limmerick which I never finished. Now I'll go down in history as the worst poet ever.
I shall endeavor, nevertheless.
Presents? What, nothing to divvy up with the harem? Though clothing.. Hmmm.
HAHA. I am wicked. =\
wow darth!
A blog babe is talking sexual stuff with you! That is cool man! (Its also turning me on!)
Fanny is a disturbed boy and needs lots of love. *smiles indulgently*
Fanny's got Katie Melua. Fanny's got Lifehouse. Fanny's got Deathcab. What doesn't Fanny have?
CHIJ uniform with stale menstrual stains? I don't know whether to laugh or to seriously consider it.
Heck, do you know any careless IJ girls?
tshyyw: All in a day's work. =\
So, 16 year old girls out there! Better start preparing yourself for the onslaught of Dick Chan! Either:
1. Run away in sheer terror (though you can NEVER hide from him)
2. Or prepare to hitch up your skirts.
Ouch. Le Raine has the right idea, in concept if not in practice :/
So, its your bday? It would be oh-so-much better, and way less of a headache if everyone I know left out lists like this... All I'll need to do is make sure no 2 people buy the same stuff, unless it's candy. You can never have enough candy.
I shall be a cheap money-grubbing miser and make you another campaign poster. Well, be glad I won't charge you for it, so there.
I'm a tightwad. So I'll just source for 15 year old girls for your harem.
If I'm in a good mood, you might receive a caricature of you being surrounded by lovely harem ladies.
And those of you who are lovely harem ladies too (or wannabes, friends, etc), pick a nice picture of yourself and send it to me. Yes, I'm gonna draw you guys because I need to practice caricature lah..
Hey, and how'd we minions send 'em gifts to you.
tshyyw:
Erm.. I don't need sex toys.
le raine:
Heheh. Harem girl! Silence!
Hahaha. Perhaps if the bounty is good, eh?
As for clothing.. *rubs chin*
And, if you can get it, I won't say no to it!
Not even to uniforms with menstrual stains. Heheh.
The way I look at it, if even a chick, doesn't mind,
why should I, eh?
fanny:
You bitch!
Go read up on A.C.T.S. before I bitch slap you.
Erm.. Forget it, you'll probably kick my ass.
Go read up on A.C.T.S. anyway.
And.. I completely agree with LeRaine, man.
Heheh..
Although, if you can get it, I won't say no....
Hejin:
Heheh, so that only leaves them with option 2, eh?
*Brain starts grinding*
Wait, YOU'RE not 16.
*curses under breath*
jon:
Ahh. LeRaine, heheh. One of my more recent finds in
the blogosphere. One of my better finds. Thank
goodness I was the first to plug her, now it seems that she's
getting better reception then me. Bah!
And as for campaign posters. Damn straight man, you can never get enough.
suspiciousbastard:
Find me Nubile Nymphs! I neeeed them,
to convince Daniel to get back to blogging.
Though, regular girls (not from chernobyl) will still be accepted.
nna:
Haha. Do one of me surrounded by my blog babes! Whooo~
Heheh. Erm, we could always arrange to meet up? Or, I could
pass you my address on MSN. Or something.
Yep..
PS: What puts you in a good mood, eh?
I wish you godspeed in your endeavour :DD
I told ya she pwned you :P most of the people who visit your blog visit hers anyway, or was it the other way round?
Sid:
Arrange a meet up of your calling, blog babes (don't forget the.. blog, erm how should we address those- ah, blog hunks, too!), sith apprentices, etc!
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