Why Don't You Probe Me With An Umbrella Instead?

Yes, yes. I know, I'm not supposed to be swearing.
But can you just turn a blind eye, just this once?


People have been telling me that my blog's bad, bad, bad.
I guess they're right :(

You know, I'm starting to feel really awful
about all the mean, mean things that I've said
in this blog.

You know, with all the people coming to this blog and reading
my hyperbole, I'm thinking of starting up an idiots
guide to understanding this particular blog.

I could list out how to spot when I'm using poetic license,
sarcasm, am plain mocking you or when I'm actually kidding.
(Chances are, when I say I'm going to stab you in the groin, I'm kidding. Easy.)

But then again, since there hasn't actually dissent voiced out
among the 150 readers I have visiting daily. I shouldn't really
care about anonymous dipshits who don't care to voice
out their opinions in a calm, clear and coherent manner.

Because after all, I have more people cheering me on,
and vindicating what I do and the site stats reflect upon that
perfectly. Man, if you don't like my blog you can seriously choose
not to read it.

But if you don't like my blog, but am still reading it and are one
of those irritating dipshits whom I've heard about bitching the
any and everyone that my blog sucks, you hate me and am going
to sue me, although I don't really know who the FUCK you are.


And you know, if you're really that stupid and continue to
patronize my blog. You're too fucking stupid for me to bother about.
So instead, I'm going to make provisions for when you finally decide
to stop wanking and (attempt to) kick my ass (because you obviously
lack the intellectual capability to resort to a formal discussion).
I'm going to consume protein like nobody's business and
build up muscle so that instead, I'll be the one kicking YOUR ass
when the time comes, eh?

Hmm, on retrospect, I've just consumed about 30grammes of
protein for my breakfast alone. So yea, my ass is laid out all
for your kicking.

I'm not going to bother about your non-existent opinions
that's occuring in a non-existent reality, where the non-existent
you, contributes to kissing my ass. Instead, I'm going to focus
my time on more real things, like sorting the metre high pile
of notes, finish sorting out the disarray that is my 'study' desk
and get prepared for the O levels in general. Besides,
it's been decreed that I've to study or else.


So cheers man, by contributing to my site stats,
you're just inadvertedly kissed my ass.

Congratulations, dear minion.
Now, now, do the right butt cheek,
the left's starting to wrinkle.


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Note:
To the 2 adults whom I've heard have threatened to sue me,
good on you. I don't know who you are and haven't mentioned you
in my blog before, so go ahead fire your first salvo. It only
goes to show how far in your you've progressed in your developmental
stage. Why not try doing the sensible thing and telling me what you
don't like instead of crying about it to everyone else except for me?

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Post Script:
Can any one explain how does one's average daily readership
more than double overnight? It used to hover around a measly 60
daily, suddenly it's hit triple digits. And no, I haven't been plugged
by any blogger of note recently, at least on technorati I haven't.
Well, there's been He Jin, but that's been ages and only yielded
a measly 20 reader increment, from 60 to 80.