I've Really Gone Out Of Touch.

I don't know what's wrong the lower sec.
I just don't know what's happened to them anymore.

There was a time, not long ago,
when I could be counselor, mentor and friend to them.

When I could understand what was happening to them,
when they could come to me with all their problems,
ranging from
'I like him, but I don't know if he likes me! What do I do!?'
to
'What's happening to my body? What with the...'
and
'My parents are always fighting, I feel like crap whenever they fight, what to do?'

And what about those times,
when you feel like taking and ego trip and all you had to do was go
'1A! 1, 2, 3!'
and that would get the entire classes attention,
you'd have them shout back
'3,2,1!'
and that was a fantastic ego boost.

Seeing those eager young faces,
waiting for your guidance, waiting to be moulded.
Waiting eagerly for your instructions,
be it to fight to the death or to simply clean the white board for me.

Suggest to them that the other class sucked
and they'd immediately engage in a rip-roaring version
of one of those pathetic little cheers you've taught them,
to prove how 'superior' they were to the other class.
Or, if they were feeling slightly more vulgar, slightly more playful,
they'd ask for you to lead them in 'bombing' the other class.

'1A BOMB, 1A BOMB, 1A BOMB TO 1D BOMB!'
and when the offending class failed to react in time,
be it due to the incompetency of their PSL or their class as a whole,
the class, lead by the PSLs would immediately engage in booing them.

'BOOO! BUDGET AH! BUDGET AH! NO POWER LAH! BOOOOO!'
among other assorted insults,
all in the name of good, clean fun.

After all, we were engaging in good, clean fun.
We were there to teach them.
I was there to teach them,
to bond as a class, to let go of their inhibitions,
to grow together as a class.

Now, a year after I've last taught them
in the capacity of a PSL.
More than a year after I've taught them in the classroom of
the values of friendship, loyalty, teamwork, integrity and all that
nauseating miscellaneous cheers.
More than a year after that last night, where we had a hell of a time,
at their Sec 1 camp fire.
Where I beamed with pride, seeing how much they've grown,
performing their items, as a class on stage, cheering together wildly,
as a class, where I was smiling proud of what I've done.



I sit at Jurong East Interchange waiting for my friend,
we were supposed to meet at 11AM. The time now, is 12.15PM.
I spot that giant mass of Emerald.

Lower Secondary students, short pants, sec 2 to be more exact.
I scan through their faces, there's got to be at least 60 people in that group.

Not all of them are were from 1A, but every single one of them know my name,
even if I might not know theirs.

They're out for their CIP, flag day.
Then the first voice rings out, loud and clear from
the other end of the interchange.
'Dick Chan! Help me donate!'

Suddenly, I freeze. Not chewing on my curry puff anymore.
All eyes turn around to face me. The less courageous ones,
stare at me furtively, imploring me and my good conscience to donate for them.

The more out going ones simply join in the screaming and immediately
they start jostling for a place in front of me, screaming their heads off for me to donate.

Problem is, I forgot to bring out any money and had only $2 to begin
the day with. After getting the curry puff, I was left with barely any money
at all. I search my pockets. I only have two 10 cent coins. I can't bear to part
with the 50 cent coin.

Dilemma.

Which 2 out of the many short pants should I give the 10 cents to?

What should have been a simple descision took me nearly an enternity.
There was a time, when I could have simply have barked at them to leave me alone,
but I don't feel that urge to do so.

There was a time glaring at them would have told them to back off.
They would have understood. We would have shared a mutual understanding.

'No money lah, no money.. Go away.. Here's 20cents, go fight among yourself..'

I've really gone out of touch.
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Note:
Where do lower sec girls get all their money from?
It's bloody pathetic when you're boody Sec 4 and two lower
sec girls -former charges of yours, no less- are offering
to treat you and your friend to a meal and all you can do is decline
and meekly drink up when they come back with a drink for you and your friend.

And, what's with all that giggling?

This is supposed to be a treat right? So, we're supposed to socialise right?
Then why are you bloody giggling to your girlfriend!? Aye, my friend is looking
bored, and I'm already finished chewing up my second straw, trying to be polite and nice.
So, what's up with the giggling?

Damn.
Bloody pathetic.