Right now,
there's a party going on in the lower levels of my abode and man,
does it bite. Not as much as it would when a dog decides to clamp on your balls,
but damn, it still bites.

I have never been of fan of parties, mainly because
fo the fact that most of the parties I go to are hosted by my relatives,
and my relative are a bore, boring and pointless, that's what most of
the parties are.

Crap, the parties themselves involves people who're related by blood
milling about trying to appear polite and making pointless small talk.
Man, I hate it when people make small talk.
Espcially if they're filled with stupid questions like,
"How old are you know?
Oh!?
That old... How time flies!"

Yea... Yea.. And you're looking more and more like you're going to
end up in the funeral home... I'll be waiting, how time flies indeed, gimme a call when you're ready."

or

"Do you have a girlfriend yet? No?
Oh, you're already very old, you know?"

Yea, I'll be sure to tell you the next time I fornicate,
or better yet, why not join me? Would YOU be interested then?

What I do miss though, is when relatives use to go,

"Oh that's you, Dick! Oh, you've grown so handsome!
*Insert blush and giggling*"

Sadly though, that isn't happening anymore,
not ever since I've got plagued by this bout of unrelenting acne happened.
Dude, what's the use of trying to kiss ass to a bunch of middle aged ladies if
they're not going to kiss your ass right back?

Aye...


And don't get me started on the 'buaya-ing' to pas the time.
I don't have relatives my age. They're either married and at least a decade older,
or my neices a decade younger. Simply nothing to do, to pass the time with.

In short. I guess I'm anti-social. Or.... I simply hate all forms of sentient life.

Egad, now my cousin's come in and started touring the whole place.
Stick to the lower levels, with all the other vile, scum!
This ain't no side show circus.
Oh the kids, heh, looking at them I guess they'll be suitable sheep
for the government's flock, having the remarkable ability
to perform any task without question, no matter how humiliating.

Oh, if they don't stop singing happy birthday on request again...
Don't they realize that they're being used like tools?
Don't they find it the least embarssing pooping in their pants
on request?
Don't they Ever think!?

There's a full scale riot going on now downstairs,
yeesh, thank goodness I didn't clean up my room.
Who knows how far-reaching the peasent's arms are?
I'm not going to clean up my room just so that it gets messy
because of some peasent who has nothign better to do.

Man, I could really use someone to come stab me now.
Why doesn't some crazed fool come and start murdering everyone now?
I'll pay you for every head you chop off, I have a grand total of $12 dollars
in life savings to splurge! Come on, gimme, gimme!