He's (or she, depending of your sexual orientation)
tempting you.
You know it's wrong.
You know it's against your principles.
You know that it's against everything you stand for.
Yet, you can't help but accept.
With an offer like that, who could?
Not when it means that I'm going to be linked to a blog with more readers than mine.
And whose writing is far better and makes much more sense.
So there, I've put on a badge of L.E.W.D.ness and I can just hope for the best.
Or become a minion in process. Doesn't matter.
It's probably going to be up there till the writing get's bad.
So get used to it.
I'ts going to up for quite some time.
P.S. I would link the bigfuck. But then, I would be accused of
linking to porn. Simply because the only link button of the bigfuck's that I like
looks like this.
And... Well.. Pretty much speaks for itself.
-----------------------------------------
P.S. If you're still reading this with Internet Exporer,
get a life. Please. Everyone knows Firefox Kicksass.
Why? It was the first thing to be linked on this blog.
26 comments:
Alright Dick, I don't want to scroll down to add the other comments, so I'll just add here.
Before I continue, I'll just give you some background information about me.
I was from Raffles Institution. I got 5 points for my 'O' levels then. Made it into RJC, and went to pursue my degree in English Literature. I signed on for the SAF then and went into OCS, where I became an officer. I worked hard and soon attained the rank of Captain.
And no, I didn't come from a rich family. I just studied, a lot.
From what you write, it seems like you are having some trouble with your work. I suggest that you spend more time studying. Yes, I did force my daughters to study. 5 hours a day, 6 days a week.
That does not include time spending doing homework or projects.
They went for music lessons.
Maybe that's what made them so smart.
Currently, my 3 daughters are 30, 27 and 22 respectively.
As I said, all have degrees in English Literature.
My first daughter has another degree in Psychology. She is also a mother of a 2 year old son. Currently working as a counsellor for teenagers.
The second one is now in studying in Yale University. She's not that close to me.
The third one is pursuing her dream as a lecturer in NUS.
Your friend said this,"Big words do not a clever person make, nor advanced years a sage.
Just be yourself, dude. I'm like, way more arrogant than you and look how well I'm doing! HAHAHAHA! Evil always wins because good is dumb. ;)"
Advance years may not make me a sage, but I'm sure I have more experience in life than you are.
Look how well he is doing being arrogant? I don't think so. Maybe academically yes, but socially, no.
I don't know him, nor want to know him. I don't know how successful he is in life, and I don't need to. I believe he has grown up and is leading the life he wants. I can't be telling people what to do. I can only advise.
Maybe that's why there is a generation gap between you, your friends and me.
I am old, out of touch, and have not been talking to you youngsters.
And I don't think I can anymore. Not at least for now. At least not online.
My vision is deteriorating. 1250 degrees per eye is no joke. My glasses are almost 2 inches thick.
I have to go for an operation. In the meantime, I will get my first daughter, Caitlin, to talk to you. She has been talking to teenagers almost everyday. I guess she would be in touch with you people.
I will be back, if the operation is successful.
I just need to tell you once more, before I leave for about 3 weeks or so. Show respect to anyone. They will return the favour.
Thanks.
I guess.
P.S.
Good luck with your operation
Bwahahaha, wow, degree in English Literature! How useful! Wow!
I can totally see that from the barrage of verbose diarrhea that shoots out of his keyboard everytime he comments. I mean, seriously, check this out.
"Advance years may not make me a sage, but I'm sure I have more experience in life than you are."
Firstly, it's advanced years. Wrong tense, gramps. Secondly, it should be "I'm sure I have more experience in life than you do".
Here's more.
"Maybe that's why there is a generation gap between you, your friends and me."
That should be "you, your friends and I".
Also, it's either "Show respect to anyone. He/she will return the favour", or "Show respect to everyone. They will return the favour".
I am not usually a spelling or grammar Nazi, but since he saw fit to brag about his degree in English Literature, I thought I should let young Darth know how amazingly worthless it is if an engineer can correct his English. Isn't being able to write proper English a prerequisite for obtaining a degree in English Literature anymore? Or did he actually get his degree from Hokkien University (Fu Kin U)? Heheheheheh.
He's probably just a fraud. Even if he's not, he should know that respect has to be earned, and the way to do it is not by just telling everyone how many degrees you have. Jeez, what a pompous windbag.
hmm..now he's sending his daughter over? Makes me wonder what vested interest he has in you..
darth, I won't play into his game if I were you.
If he has a forthcoming book on teenage blogs as he so claims, he's probably using you as a example of a 'delinquent' who he stumbles upon during his research, and who he manages to 'reform' after his benevolent and persistent moralizing.
A paragon of virtue he will emerge.
He will aggrandize himself at your expense.
Don't fall for it.
Trust me; I am seldom wrong.
Or he could just be what Adrian says: a fraud.
Hmm..didn't you offend a guy and a girl with your blog recently?
Now, right after that episode, a guy(charles) and his supposed daughter are hell-bent on chastising you.
Uncanny coincidence?
Do you think those kids you offended would let the matter rest so soon and disappear into oblivion?
Just throwing up a few possible scenarios ;) That's why they call me The Strategist.
err....what the fuck is going on here? I don't get it. why is this man going for an operation and sending you his daughters? what trickery is this?????
i'd plug you, but then, i'm very busy working right now. maybe later.
Adrain:
Err.. Okay... I'll take your word for it..
But then again, degrees don't amount to much either..
Teachers getting made to look like fools is a prime example.
Daniel:
Doesn't matter lah.. Free publicity.
He'll have to credit me somewhere.. I guess.
Being the attention whore that I am, how I could resist?
Err, and I don't think those kids have enough brains to cook up essays with the same length and vocabulary
that Charles has. You obviously have never been to my school.
Then again you might be right. Either ways, it'll be interesting to see how this plays out..
Note: I'm too much of an asshole to be reformed. The world has been trying since 1989.
I just find it such a waste when I can't put stupid people down. I mean, if the smart people
don't do it, who will?
Big Fuck:
Long story.
Started since Saturday and has lasted this long.
This blog hasn't had continuity for a long time..
I'm actually slightly confused. Doesn't matter. Will play out sooner or later.
Let's hope I don't get cheated!
Doesn't matter. As long as I get plugged.
Whoa.. This is a bit like Star Wars eh?
The temptation of the Dark Side, and the righteousness
of the Light.
Must... Not... Fall... Into... Dark...
Oh crap, aren't I already an evil sithlord?
Let's just go kill Jar Jar Binks instead.
oh, i read your comment on donaq's blog. aiyah, wendy cheng is quite nice what. just write her a couple nice emails and be entertaining. that's how i started chatting with her what.
Perhaps.. But then again, I'm not into the habit of chatting females up.
It's usually done the other way around. Haha..
It'll be a little out of my 'zone'. Loose my aura of mystique see?
I'll be less sexy that way.
Besides, she rarely plugs blogs or links to them, unless they're close friends,
so it wouldn't really fit in with my agenda anyway.
I'll leave condscending and pretencious comments on her blog!
That should gain me enough notoriety.
Hey, daddy's of course, kinda outta touch ya see?
way older than anyone of us i suppose. haha. he bangs the keyboard as though it is his typewriter. haha.
nvm. yup. he has a degree, but somehow, his english is getting worse. maybe its his eyes. can't see a thing. always confuses me with mommy. i'm not that old. least not now.
and you the engineer? don't know you, but that's no way to talk about daddy like that. he's got bad eyesight. and he's been mixing with the other senior citizens nearby. explains why he starts speaking hokkien all the time. guess he's rusty in his english.
don't mind the bad tenses and punctuations that i make. i mix with teens all the time, and somehow got influenced by them. i guess dick is the only teen here? i don't know. though daddy told me that i should be wary of you, i mix with teens all the time. there shouldn't be a problem.
he does love to give talks on respect. seems to be his favourite topic at home. daddy told me to come here everyday, but i don't really have the time. my son is asleep now, so i'll take the chance.
and no, daddy's no fraud. i guess he is just getting rusty ya see? can't blame an old man, can you? my grandparents used to be so darn strict. and that's how he is now. don't really like it though.
he wants to write a book. ha! its been almost 20 years since he wrote his last book. nvm, i'm sure he can do it, when he recovers.
i understand somehow that you teenagers don't really mix well with the older people, its alright. everyone has gotta go through a stage where we all just wanna be left alone. or at least from out parents. there's bound to be something we are hiding from them.
cutting yourself, suicide, etc, etc, teens just can't stop doing it. when you can't pass your exams, you cut yourself. when you get rejected by your crush, you cut yourself. seems to me that cutting yourself is the new trend for teens. i didn't do that. its all about self-control. mind over body.
suicide? not many. but i'm sure all of you have thought of it before. guess its all part of life. even now, sometimes, i feel like committing suicide. but that's normal. you all must learn to control yourselves.
okay, i don't know who visits here, but hopefully teens do, and read this part. haha! i'll read back the old post, if i have the time. don't know you yet, but i hope i will.
issue is porn i guess. no time to talk on that part, not for now. gotta reply some stranger who has "family problems" before my son wakes up. - caitlin
Caitlin:
Eh? Your 30 years old I presume?
Who types like this at 30?
Erm okay, sorry for the disrespect then.
Why should you be wary of me though? Its not as if I had enough power with words to sway your beliefs
or does your daddy have more respect for my abilties than he shows?
Well, come here everyday if you like. It doesn't matter.
The more the merrier, I say. It could even be fun. The moralist against the 'amoral bastards'. it'd be interesting.
Besides, why does it matter whether you come here when your son is sleeping or not? It's not as if this page is splashed with pornography. Neither is it full of profanities.
As for your father being a fraud? Well, this IS the internet. And with no credentials what so ever, people do tend to get suspicous. Especially after the whole episode that lead your father to post on this blog. I've even been to the book store looking for some of your father's books. Couldn't find any books by Charles Lee, but that could be because popular sucks any way, and I'm too lazy to get to borders. Well, for all I know you could be a 14 year self righteous teen who's hell bent of preaching to me about morals.
But, that's jsut my opinion. When you're 15 neurotic, antisocial and a bloody geek who sits in front of the computer all day, you tend to get like that.
(note: I'm not like that. really.)
As for the issues with english? As Adrian said, we're no Nazis.
Also, I would like to clarify that I do mix well with old people. Just not with the assuming preachy kind.
Sorry, but yes, your father was slighty over bearing in his preaching.
But I do mix well with old people (at least those below the age of 50)
and I do have a good relationship with my father. (who just so happens to be slightly younger than your father.
And about preaching to teens? Wrong blog.
The only people who visit this blog (well most of the people who comment anyway)
are geeky intellects with big egos (justified egos, however) I don't really think
teens visit this blog.
I've been told my entries are too 'long' or 'complex'.
Simply because my entries are usually longer than one paragraph and don't start and end wtih:
"2dae I saw euuuuuu, euuuuu said 'hi' and I fell in lurvvve with euuuu."
Urgh, how does one write so horribly?
I don't cut myself. Never have. I don't discuss suicide either. Never will.
I'm just too great to allow harm to befall me. Haha..
Also, I don't get rejected by my crush.
It's usually the other way around. hmm.
That could be because I'm kinda numb to the whole kissy kissy relationship thing. Who knows?
And, issue isn't porn. Those who watch it, watch it. Doesn't matter lah.. It's their form of entertaintment.
oh, you have a degree in psychology right?
CAre to give some career advice?
How much do you earn? How are your working hours?
What does your job involve?
Oh yea,
Please don't try to psycho babble me.
I hate that. And I'm sure that I have readers who will be helpful (and smart)
enough to point that out if you get to psycho babble me.
Then, I will get very angry and I will start loosing my ability to articulate,
then I wil Start SPEAKING LIKE THIS BECAUSE I WOULD BE VERY VERY ANGRY AND SOUND BLOODY
RETARDED AND ME WILL BREAK YOU AND MAKE YUO CRY BECAUSE I WILL NOT BE VERY HAPPY.
Okay, that wasn't very funny nor effective at conveying my message across.
I'm on a dry spell. Not being able to coem across as funny. Damn.
just know that I would become very angry and probably start insulting you, your family,
anything that has come into contact with you (apart from me and a select few objects/people)
over the course of (minimum) 3 blog entries.
Thank you very much.
P.S.
Sorry for the tenses grammer and whatever mistake you can find from this post.
I'm too tired from the exams to check.
haha the game is up.
I've seen through it.
have fun you guys!
what game!?
What game!?
TELL ME! I need to know!!
*starts whimpering/fawning/begging*
email me!
Whatever! just tell me what!
it's mostly my intuition, which is accurate most times.
There are a few things, but I'll just highlight one for now:
when someone keeps banging on a few points reiterating his/her identity , and appears super-defensive against any suspicion and moves quickly to plug all loopholes, you can be almost sure it's a facade.
it's human nature that when people lie, they want to put up a perfect front without any loopholes , and they sound contrived without realising it.
Perhaps I am the psychologist here ;)
of course, there is a tiny, miniscule chance that I might be wrong.
Ah...
You have shown me the light.
Masterr...
*purrs*
Haha.. Okay, that sounded homosexual.
Err...
But who cares eh?
Like I said, it'll be interesting to see how this finally plays out...
What if you're right and he/she is exposed? Oh. The saga continues...
I just might miss Star Wars for this.
Note:
Possible career choice then?
yea, this blog is gonna get even more intriguing heh.
It's a good thing you're an unabashed attention whore!
as for being a psychologist, nah.
I hate talking to mentally weak people.
HAHAHAHA, I can't believe this shit. HAHAHAHA. Hey Caitlin, if you're for real, why don't you ask Dick out for some coffee? Or better yet, meet up with me? Oh my fucking god, I can't believe this bugger actually expects us to buy this shit. HAHAHAHA.
well, if my son isn't asleep, i wouldn't have the time to post comments. he's only 2. all he can do is walk and speak a few words. he can't even read. so i guess that cleared some things up.
well, being a psychologist isn't that easy. i work from home now since i got a child to take care of. so far i only get some emails from those teens i've spoke to before. and yes, i'm 30. i speak like that as i talk to delinquent teens all the time. they use vulgarities all the time. if i don't speak as one of them, they won't accept me. i have to be accepted by them. i have to understand them. i'm sure you understand. i'm being exposed to their kind of language almost everyday. but, seeing that you type in proper words, and not like "todae i hd a wndrful dae", i decide to speak in proper sentences as well.
yeah, 30. just because i'm 30 doesn't mean i can't be young again. haha!
well, if your friend here thinks that i'm lying. i can't stop him. it's not like i need to tell you who i am over and over again. its like, thats really happening now. i did have to answer an email. if you got mail from a 17 year old who says he wants to run away from home because his parents are beating him, would you rather be posting here than help him? i think not.
nvm if you don't believe. i'm not gonna force you to believe. i'm not gonna "psycho babble" you. so far, i don't see whats wrong with you. so i don't need to sorta like psycho you.
what kinda career advice do you need? working hours vary, depending on which sector you choose. what i earn is something that i shouldn't be telling you. haha! it depends on the kind of people you work with. for me, i work with teens, ranging from 13 - 18 so far.
haha. daniel, you probably know nothing of psychology. you're probably a good writer, thats why you think i'm a fraud. well, sad to say, you are wrong. i just type as i normally do with teens. although this time i try not to use bad english as i normally do. i was kinda like forced by my dad to take english literature. kinda boring. so i don't really spend time analyzing on what i wrote. sorry about that.
won't be posting for a few days here though. so i thought i would tell you. husband is going overseas, leaving me with my son. unless he sleeps, i can't post. but i promise i'll post whenever i can. - caitlin
sure, when my husband comes back, i'll be delighted to meet you all up for coffee. - caitlin
hey darth go for a date with her la ;)
The truth is always good.
Yeah, believe "her" when you see "her".
and regarding what Caitlin said, I'm not a good writer, truth be told.
There are many who put me in the shade, like Beautifuk and Sheena.
Haha..
Hilarious..
Well, I just might not update this blog and concentrate solely on this issue..
Firstly, I think that if you're 17 and you're parents are hitting you,
you shouldn't be e-mailing a stranger.
You should just walk to the nearest police post, or dail 999.
I mean how stupid can one get?
You don't need counselling for abusive parents.
You need them locked up.
Besides, when you're 17...
Well.. You're almost an adult and I don't really think..
Shan't say more..
As Daniel puts it so nicely,
mentally weak people suck.
Daniel/Adrian:
Siao ah?
Ask me to go on a date with a 30 year old.
Haha.. I have better things to do leh..
But it'll be interesting..
Caitlin:
Erm you sure you're game to have coffee with 'us' (adrian, daniel, me)?
Haha.. Tell you first, I'm cheap.
Daniel:
I think I'm going to focus solely on promoting my blog these few days..
Exams are (almost) over and I'm kind of burned out.
But yea, attention whore I am.
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