The financial consultant

Financial consultants shouldn't be allowed to be pretty. If they weren't I wouldn't be less compelled to stop and entertaining their pitches disguised as a survey and end up listening to an extremely well rehearsed and predictable and tiresome to listen to pitch about how I can save more money if I put my money with them instead of the bank(!). Then, I wouldn't give a false number because I'm the kind of guy who is too shy to reject the request of someone who looks like they've been working extremely hard at am extremely eager to do their job right and would you please help me by signing on to the dotted line so I can a big fat commission (pretty please with great big pretty doe eyes) and you can earn way better interest rates here anyway so it's a win win solution.

They shouldn't be allowed to do shit like that. Because ultimately, because I have absolutely no interest in committing to a long term savings plan and I end up lying about my intentions and giving a false number, because nothing you say can convince me because I've probably heard it all and even if you have a pitch I haven't heard I still won't be interested. Then, when you ask me when you can call and I tell you tomorrow evening and then, you ask me if I'm giving you a false number I tell you no very firmly because I'm already so caught up in my lie I don't want to get caught with my pants down. Then I feel very guilty because I don't like to lie to people. Not as long as it's necessary anyway.


So, financial consultants. LEAVE ME ALONE!


Unless you want to date me, or you'll be faced with the disappointment of making time and practising a speech to call me up only to realise that you've been lied to, again.