Was a great distraction from the usual mind rotting chores of being a soldier. Sitting down with the wind whipping against you, quiet and driving your head into a tizzy because of how quiet and alone and peaceful staring out to sea is.
I wanted to die.
It would've been good dying in the state of mind induced by the sea breeze. I think I understand better now, the rationale with people running off to far off lands to be alone. Just not having anything to think about, allows you to think better and put things into better perspective.
And I think that I don't like the kind of person I'm becoming. There are things that I've been doing and mannerisms that I've been changing and I'm not the person I was 2 or even 3 years ago. That, among other things is truly heartbreaking and if only I could conceive a cure!
That, would be sweet and joyous and all things wonderful.
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