Plush toys, teddy bears, flowers, bouqet of roses and money oh boy!

Edit 18/09 2.25PM:
People, You've got to realise this is fictitous.
If however, you're affected by my liberal usage of
expletives and the vulgar manner in which I commit my words to,
I'd be more than pleased to have your air your grievances online.
*laughs* In good fun, eh?

Cheers.

'Dude, did you get any ass?'

Naa.. All we did was hold hands.

'Whoa, bummer.'

Damn right. Bummer. Now I'm fucking broke with no money.
Piss poor, that's what.

'Whoa, just held hands?'

Yea, tell me about it. That and followed her aroundlike a loyal little puppy.


'What's up with that?'

I don't know man. Where's all the emotional bullshit, eh? What about that
clingy-ness? That sure as hell reeks.

'Dude, if you need to cry, I'm always here man.'

Yea, yea, yea. I know. I came over to bitch right? Oh god.

'Let it all out man, let it all out. I've been there. I feel for you man.'

Oh fuck it. I'm broke, emotionally needy, my soul feels empty, I'm obligated
to not flirt when other girls start flirting. Oh, shit. *bawls*

'Come, come. This sort of things happen, bitches abound, you should've just gotten
one of those wild malay girls who've been flirting with you. At least you would'nt
have been the one spending the money.'

*bawls* Shit man, I know I know. I just don't know what the fuck got into me.

'*pats back* Now, now. Let it all out man, let it all come out.'

Thanks dude. You're a damn pal. Come to think of it, if you'd have boobs, an ass and
was able to mess about with guys without making them question their moral values,
you'd just about make the perfect girlfriend.

'Thanks man. You too.'

*sniffs* You do realise this conversation never happened, yea?

'Yea, yea.. Of course, we're mates. I wouldn't sell you out for anything man.'

Apart from that, you do realise I know where you, your extended family, and your
girlfriend lives right? I'll hunt them all down like pigs if word of this gets out.
I'll hunt YOU down like a pig if word of this gets out.

'Yea, yea. Ok. Ah, blame the damn bitch for wasting your money and time.'

Yea. Damned bitch, toyed around wit me. Didn't even get past first base.
Not a word of this, hear?



'I won't say a thing.'