Dripping Cynicism Like Nobody's Business

The author would like to note that he is not in the habit nor is he advocating
the consumption of alcohol. Especially by minors, such as himself. However,
extreme circumstances call for extreme cures. Besides, Choya isn't that strong
anyways and it tastes awful good. About as good as top quality Sake.
But quality Sake is too expensive anyway. He would also like to
note that he actually really loves females. This is just the fever talking
in no way should you get the impression that he would want to kill off
all female life. Not before he gets 'some' anyways.

Oh what the hell.
Alcohol=Bad.
Females=Good.
Clear enough, yea?


2x(Amount Of Mucus Leaked) = Level of cynicism.

First time sick in 6 months.
I'm so bloody sick I haven't even got the energy
to be properly pissed.
Instead, I have to rely on my friend's trusty Nike water bottle
to shut people up.

Re- Enactment:
X: Inane-Bullshit, Yadda yadda, yadda, crap I can't be bothered about,
blah, blah, blah.

*Sprays Him With The Nike Water Bottle*

Shit.
What is happening?

Wouldn't it be nice if we could all return to medieval times,
where right now I'd have come of age and married to some
sweet young thing that I took a fancy to?

Marrying meaning, pointing at the best looking thing that
walked through the door and ordering my guards to haul her
to my dungeons, where under the threat of death to her and her entire
family, she'd be forced to marry and procreate with me.

Did I mention that at the very least I'd be a chief of
a village full of barbaric warriors?
That would be where my guard come from.

Then, with all that power, I'd be able to
subject people to unreasonable rule, taxing people
obscenely for my personal enjoyment and have the power
to castrate which ever sleazy bastard who tried to chat up with
my new wife.

Hmm, scratch that. I'd castrate whichever bastard that had enough
balls to even look at my women.
Well, if you've got enough balls to look at my women, you've got one too many
balls. I'll help relieve you of your baggage, eh?

Damnit, I'd probably go get my guards to cut up that stupid wench of a
wife who was supposed to remain faithful. How does one stay faithful
while fraternizing with other men? Obviously she's an unfaithful bitch
and deserve to be crucified in public as well.

God, I'd take such joy in inflicting pain upon others.
No wonder dictatorships always work out so well,
I'm right and you are wrong, and I sure as hell am going to enjoy being right.


Ye Gods, come to think of it,
females all the root of all evil.
Why not just kill all sentient beings without a penis?
This way, there'd be a lot less depressed guys around,
a lot less people moping about not being able to get tail and
less trouble stemming from whiny feminists, whom you want to bitch slap
so bad, but can't.

For pleasure and reproduction,
there's always masturbation and test-tube babies.
Don't fret, guys. When I finally work out all the kinks,
my plan to exterminate all form of sentient female life would
be just purr-fect. Just you see.

Even, if it isn't I'd be bloody ultimate dictator of the world
and you'd just have to shut up and put up.
That, or die a painful death, which involves me peeling off your
scrotum with a rusty paring knife before impaling your balls with (said) paring knife.



What was I talking about?
Oh yea, killing all females in existence.

Wouldn't that be sweet?
A world without females, where teenage boys wouldn't have
to worry about pleasing girlfriends, feel inadequate and depressed due
to lack thereof (said) girlfriends or worry about whether (said) girlfriend
is messing about with other horny bastards out there.

No jealousy, no hate, no anger, no more sadness.
We'd be brudders, who'd get together to masturbate, drink to the excess
and indulge in every form of pleasurable sin imaginable.

And we'd have a blast doing so.
No worries, no regrets, no troubles, no obligations.

Mmm. That would be very nice wouldn't it?
Oh, I can just imagine how wonderful a new life would be.

But then again,
feeling as sick as I do now,
the one thing that would be absolutely fabulous would
be a hot-young female feeding me grapes/hot soup and nursing me back to health,
while I moan and grope gripe and bitch about all my troubles.

I'd bitch and complain and I'd have a heck of a time feeling good
and getting back to the pink of health. Then, after I'm fully fit again,
I discard that wench after she'd showered me with all her tender loving care
and enact out my plans to kill all female life.

Starting with her.

Oh, so sweet and innocent.
So naive, I've cheated.
Don't you know you're what all men desire to defile?
So honest, so trusting,
your steps men will shadow.
Seeking to corrupt, seeking to destroy.
Seeking possession but never the responsibilities that come with it.

You'll be used, without knowing,
once your worth is spent you'll be left, bent.
Desecrated and defiled,
no longer innocent nor pure.
So easily corrupted, I'll take you in my arms,
I'll take you home.

If only to punish,
to fulfill my own sick pleasures.
I'll take you in and I'll break you down.
Even more than had been done before.
For it is your own folly your own disregard for advice that
has lead you down this path.

I will take you in my arms.
I will claim you for my own.
But know that you've been sullied and despoiled.
You're no longer worth anything,
I'll do with you as I please.
To fulfill my every whim, my every impulse to build my joy,
I'll break you down.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

At the end of 3 hours,
I realize how this post has gone completely off tangent.
This is the work of a deranged and sick mind.
fevers running high, flu's not budging, my nose is still leaking.

The author would like to apologize for this post
and if you'd have it in your good heart, you'd probably ignore and forget about
this post.

Done in an unsound state of mind, I think I'd probably do well with some sleep.
After all, as the saying goes, 'Sleep heals all wounds.'
Or was it supposed to go 'Beer..'

Ah well, there's only bloody Choya at home,
so I guess that'll make do for alcohol.
I'll go sleep after ingesting sufficient amounts of alcohol.

Song of the moment:
The Ramones- I Wanna Be Sedated.
Someone just come sedate me, please?