Vanity II

If I knew what made me attractive to the opposite sex, I would bottle it up, have it synthesized and sell the product for enormous profit. It's something that I've been trying to figure out for the past five years to no avail, since the first time I had someone from the opposite sex approach me to inform me that they were attracted to me. Granted, I was a very different person 5 years ago, full of piss, vinegar and swagger whereas presently I believe myself to be a much more reserved person.

However the one constant has been that these girls have always been extremely aggressive in courting my attention. Which might sound like I'm greatly exaggerating my prowess as a sexually(?) attractive man but is a fact for the meager seven or eight who have done so in my lifetime.

What is it that made them attracted enough to risk being upset by rejection? I do not possess the balls to actively engage in flirtations with the intent of beginning a romantic relationship, nor am I equipped with enough sensibilities to drastically alter my behaviour in an attempt to impress upon a female whom I may be attracted to-whether false or not-qualities that I may possess.

This lack of knowledge is very troubling, and I need to get to the bottom of this soon if my future happiness(?) is to be guaranteed.

Vanity.

You know, I've discovered that if I have not eaten in the last six hours I actually look like I have a pretty kickass physique. The bulges all over actually kind of scare me, which probably mean I need to go eat something. But then, I'd lose my kickass physique!

Anyway you choose to give it.

Amazingly enough, performing regimental guard duty turned out to be pretty awesome. It's always cool to discover that there still are people/that I still retain the ability to engage in nonsensical talk punctuated by hysterical laughter and wild gesticulating with while on long walks in the middle of the night-which, by the way really is the best kind of long walk to have with people.

It's been sometime since I last had the impression that I was vaguely personable and it's pleasant to realise that not all is terrible and bleak in an otherwise rather dreary life.

So yes, currently life is pretty good.

If you don't, she wins.

But, what if it has come to a point where the satisfaction of winning doesn't really merit the effort. I mean, the flesh is willing but the spirit is weak probably sums it up in a tidy little bundle. It doesn't really matter anyway, it's like competing penis sizes or who can pee further. Really, nobody cares and you find more trouble for yourself by cooking up all sorts of imaginary scenarios where you might (figuratively) compare penis sizes.

Que sera, right? Which may explain the staid condition of my existence. However, there is less drama and I am more at peace with myself if anything. Ah, life.

What Douchebagery.

'Tis something I thought would sound good and I'd thought that I'd share. Also The Bloody Beetroots were fucking awesome. Their level of awesomeness runs to the highest levels of epic-ness which simply cannot be described by mere words, youtube videos or music played through tinny speakers/headphones. It's insane and my ears are still ringing from the aural ear fucking and subsequent ear orgasm.

Good music is the salve to all of life's ailments.

OH MY GOD BLOODY BEETROOTS!

Shades of the past.

For the new year, I have absolutely go to watch my tongue more carefully. I don't know, sometimes it seems my words cut deeper then they're meant to and it's not good for maintaining relationships.